Burnout, the Stress Cycle, and Remembering My Own Advice
As a therapist, I often talk to clients who are overwhelmed, exhausted, stretched thin—and still feel pressure to “do more.” I’m confident most of us can relate to these signs of burnout, and may even be feeling them right now.
We’ve all heard the airplane metaphor: you have to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs. As someone who frequently shares this concept with clients, friends, and family, last month I realized I had been ignoring my own advice. I hit full burnout mode. It’s humbling to sit across from clients talking about self-care when I had clearly neglected my own.
Recently, I revisited a trusted book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA. The authors do a brilliant job unpacking what burnout is (and how it’s deeply tied to systems like capitalism and patriarchy) and how we can move through it.
So, I wanted to share a few takeaways from the book that I’ve been leaning on lately.
The Stress Cycle
Even when we can’t change the stressor itself, there are still steps we can take to complete the stress cycle.
Here’s what that means: stress lives in our bodies. When we experience stress, our bodies release hormones that signal “danger.” Completing the stress cycle means doing something that tells our body, “you’re safe now.”
Even if we can’t eliminate the source of stress (a demanding boss, a sick relative, a toddler in full meltdown mode), we can still address the physiological impacts of stress and help regulate our nervous systems.
Strategies to Complete the Stress Cycle
Good news for the Her Elevated community —one of the most effective ways to complete the stress cycle is physical activity.
That could mean LIFTING WEIGHTS, walking, running, dancing—anything that gets your body moving and your heart rate up.
If that’s not accessible or appealing, there are plenty of other ways to help your body complete the cycle:
Deep breathing
Positive social interaction
Laughter
Affection (a long hug counts!)
A good cry (one of my personal favorites)
Creative expression
Each of these activities helps signal safety to your nervous system and supports regulation. There’s no “perfect” way to do this—find what works for you, and know that different strategies may help on different days.
~ Hannah Collentine-Cole, LCSW
Individual and Couples Therapy in Midtown Sacramento
